Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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