so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
