dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
