it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
