CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
