So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
