is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
