I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just pee around me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
