Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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