doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my phone needs a breathalizer
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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