my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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