its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
