R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
