Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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