Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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