STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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