dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
