but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
tell me about the eggs
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