I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
