hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
