Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
