i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
