K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I could punch you in the face.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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