Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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