She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
