just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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