Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
