And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize