I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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