You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
