I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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