C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
