I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
