I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
