we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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