I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
420 ftw
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
