I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
