do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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