My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
