Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
