he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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