tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
