All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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