We won't sleep together?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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