College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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