i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
