Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
