Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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