The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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