Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
