I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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