i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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