I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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