barbara walters just said penis...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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