she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
