The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
