The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
