I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
