i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
