found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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