i don't like sucking hair
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
