Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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